In our sadness, we realise our capacity to love; In our fear, we realise what is most important to us; In our joy, we see the culmination of positive moments.
The other day, I was sitting in my psych appointment, very upset about the prospect of not regaining my prior relationship with my father; my lovely therapist turned to me and reminded me that my sadness over a loss, shows my capacity to love, and my desire to be loved. I can't change what is at the moment, the decision is not mine, however I can focus on the fact that I love deeply, and I am worthy of love. Finding the good in crappy situations remind us that beauty, and positivity, and goodness, is everywhere.
Today I had a great visit with some of my family, I gave my baby cousin (4 months) a massage, blew raspberries, laughed when i got peed on and just enjoyed having my loves around. My cousin and I addressed an altercation that we had had a month or so ago, that was caused by chinese whispers, and the freedom that came from being open felt wonderful. It is incredibly freeing to be honest and open.
After my family left, I wandered down to my paddock and took a selfie in my snuggie and uggies, enjoying the winter weather. I have not taken a photo of myself that I have liked in a very long time, I body shame myself over weight gain, and only see the flaws; but this photo I love. I see someone who is feeling happier, who doesn't mind being a dag, and is slowly getting comfortable in her own skin. I AM ENOUGH.
Sometimes the smallest things can make a big difference - a kind word, a smile, a hug; the possibilities are endless - maybe it's time to not wait for the big gestures, but see the beauty in the everyday instead.
